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3 Ways to Rephrase “No” and Not Get Fired

Even if you pride yourself in being a team player, you may run into a situation where you have to turn an assignment down. Have you ever said, “I don’t have time for this right now,” or “I’m busy right now.” to your boss or colleague?  Ever think about how to reframe these responses so you don’t fall out of favor?

Unfortunately, these two direct responses don’t inspire.  You can be honest but you also want to foster an environment of collaboration.  To build better office relationships, take another approach to saying “no.”

  1. Never start your reply with no. It is helpful to consider responding to a request with a “Yes, and …” format. Never blatantly reject the idea. Always embrace the request and pivot the request in a direction you like better.
  2. Offer an alternative If you are in a situation where it is not possible to do the requested task and meet your current deadlines, you could say: “Sure, I can do that — do you want me prioritize it over this other assignment?”

Or maybe you’re willing to perform the task, but another person may have the flexibility to get it done faster. If so, diplomatically make that suggestion.

Instead of rushing to say no, consider offering your assistance in a different way or at a different time.  Say instead: I’d be happy to discuss this with you after my morning meetings. May I stop by your office around 2 p.m.?”

The point is to be clear and positive — and to offer a realistic picture of potential alternatives.

  1. Focus your response on the right points. If you are feeling overworked, don’t focus the conversation on that aspect. Rather focus on how you want to help solve the issue of being overworked.  Always make sure you emphasize your willingness and ability to help the department. You might even ask for advice about the best way to handle competing deadlines in the future. Either way, minimize discussion of being overworked to avoid coming across as non-collaborative.

Can you think of other ways to tactfully say no and keep favor at work? Comment below and share your ideas.

7 Ways to Banish Professional Overwhelm

If you were to survey a room full of professionals, there wouldn’t be too many who would say they don’t feel overworked or overwhelmed, at least some of the time. Managing our professional and personal lives is a problem we all struggle with. At the end of the day, the only person who is going to keep you from feeling overworked and overwhelmed is you. To pull it off, you must commit to intentionally managing your time so you have a fighting chance of showing up and doing your best work or being your best self. Here are some strategies to rid professional overwhelm and get control of your life.

Play #1: Ground yourself in the present.

Schedule specific times to look ahead and make plans for the future. When you are outside of those preset times, focus on what you are doing in the moment. 

Play #2: Prioritize continuously.

Challenge your daily tasks. Don’t do things because that is what you’ve always done or because it is tradition. Do it because it helps you get closer to your most important goals. Do you need to respond to the email right this second? Do you need to schedule this meeting? Do you need to stay late tonight?  In many cases you don’t, but you do anyway simply because that’s what you’ve always done or you haven’t taken the time to brainstorm alternatives or other options. Remove as many “nice to do” tasks from your routine and you will find more time to focus on tasks that really matter.

Use the Franklin-Covey method of assigning a priority tag to each task:

A—urgent and important

B—important but not urgent

C—urgent but not important

D—not urgent or important

Categorize each task with one of these tags. At the beginning of each day, focus on your A’s first. If you get those done, move to the B’s, then the C’s.

 Play #3: Delete or delegate.

When looking at your to-do list, become comfortable with deleting or delegating tasks that you keep putting off and have no consequence if they do not get completed. Not sure what to delegate? Take a look at the delegation decision map below.

delegationdecisionmap

Play #4: Periodically place your brain on pause.

No one can or should be on 24/7. When your brain runs overtime with thoughts it gets tired just like your body does when you exercise for a long period of time. Switch your thoughts off occasionally. Take a walk. Do a mindless chore. Do some exercise. Do something where your body goes on autopilot. You’ll be surprised how productive and creative you be when you allow your brain to pause. Consider brainstorming a “pleasure list.” A pleasure list consists of activities that make you feel phenomenal when you do them. Here are a few ideas to inspire you:

  •  Catch a weekend matinee movie
  • Take a hot yoga class
  • Make a playlist of your favorite songs
  • Go the beach and read a book
  • Buy a beautiful card and stamps, then write a letter to a friend
  • Buy your favorite magazine and read it cover to cover
  • Browse travel websites and create fantasy itineraries for a future trip
  • Schedule an hour to gab and catch up with a girlfriend
  • Play afternoon catch with the dog

Play #5: Set personal and professional boundaries.

People will not respect your time unless you respect yours first. So, you need to set some boundaries for yourself. Set a time where you will stop working, a specific time where you will go to lunch or take a tea break, certain times you’ll do things with your family, certain times you won’t take calls, etc. Then, let people know those boundaries.

Play #6: Be strategic with saying yes and no.

Always consider the effect of a request on your most important goals. To ensure your yes doesn’t automatically take time away from what you need to get done, consider creating some guidelines by saying, saying, “Yes, but only if…” The same is true with a no response. You can say no but add some stipulations such as “No, but I can…” to make sure the right expectations are set and you don’t deviant from your planned course. 

Play #7: Control your distractions.

The list is endless with the amount of distractions you encounter per hour: phone calls, emails, texts, office drop-ins, etc. Schedule blocks of time when you’ll turn off the distractions. The only way to stay on schedule is to work on your own schedule–not on that of other people.

Make conscious shifts in your daily habits and choices to keep overwhelm from taking you down.

What about you? How do you deal with feelings of overwhelm? Have you tried any of these strategies yourself? Let me know in the comments section below.

6 Unproductive Phrases You Should Never Use At Work

There are a few career and team limiting phrases that tend to jeopardize one’s professional image, likelihood for promotion, and overall team health. When used by the speaker, the words may seem harmless.  However, to the listener, they reveal a negative attitude and unprofessional demeanor.  Below are six phrases you should avoid in the workplace.

1. “It’s not fair.”

Injustice is a common occurrence in the workplace and in the world at large.  It could be your colleague can work from home but you can’t.  They got a promotion and you didn’t.  Life is not fair and you are going to run into situations at work that highlight how unfair life is.  What you want to avoid is using this phrase to stay in a place of complaining and whining.  Take a more effective approach in dealing with office injustice.  Instead, build a case by documenting the facts and present an intelligent argument to the person or group who can help you.

2. “That’s not my job.”

Even if this statement is technically true. Statements like this give the impression that you don’t care. An unconcerned and self-serving attitude will quickly limit your career advancement opportunities or sabotage others perception of you. Instead, articulate your thoughts in a more thoughtful and productive fashion. For example, if your supervisor delegates an unreasonable task to you, rather than saying, “That’s not my job,” instead say, “I’d love to help. I currently have X deadline to complete my current tasks of A, B, and C, which one of these should I place on hold to work on this new assignment?” This response positions you as a team player but also makes your current workload clear and the need to set realistic expectations.

3. “But we’ve always done it that way.”

Successful professionals value creative thinking, innovation, thought leadership, and problem solving.  This phrase reveals that you are closed-minded and that you don’t value innovation. Consider using a different approach such as: “That’s an interesting idea. How would that work?” Or, “That’s a different approach. Let’s discuss the pros and cons.”

4.  “There’s nothing I can do.”

Even when a situation looks bleak, promote a can- do attitude. Saying “There’s nothing I can do” is the easy way out.  There is always something you can do.  With some additional thought, you can come up with what you can do.  When you make the mistake of saying a negative phrase like this one, your words convey a hopeless outlook. This type of approach is seldom valued in the workplace. Instead, use your words to communicate what you can contribute to the situation.  Share something like, “What I can do is this,”  “Give me a little time to think of how I can help,” or, “Let’s discuss what’s possible under these circumstances.”

5. “You could have…”

The workplace isn’t kind to those who like to point fingers and inflict feelings of blame. Instead of making someone feel guilty for poor behavior or wrong action, take a graceful approach.  Examples of graceful comebacks are: “Next time, to ensure proper planning, please bring this to my attention right away.” Or, “Moving forward, I recommend…”

6. “You guys.”

“You guys.” has a derogatory connotation when used.  Reserve this language for informal conversation outside of the workplace.  Substitute this phrase with specific references like “the organization” or “this team” or simply “you.”

These career and team limiting words come up often. When you catch yourself using them, pause and start over.  It may be difficult to eliminate them overnight but the change first starts with awareness. The rest will happen over time.

Can you think of other phrases that hinder a positive work environment? Comment below and share your ideas.